I am Not Your Healer
For all who also have “I am a listener” tattooed on your forehead and realize it is both your greatest strength and greatest downfall.
I am not your healer
My time, yours to take
“Listener” tattooed on forehead
taking, taking, taking
But never once asking
This cycle created from early days,
reinforced with a nod, smile, “uh-huh”
encourages you
Anger rising
First at you and then at me
I am not your healer
I am not your healer
My emotions yours to take
Calling- excited, sharing what you’ve learned
Calling- sad, feeling alone
Calling- without permission
Trying to force me to be your healer
Crawling out of this pit
….Scratching
with grace and grace-less
I’m getting out of this pit
“I can’t do this. I’m hanging up.”
I am not your healer
I am not your healer
My body yours to take
Beauty, Boldness, Power
Attempts to pour insecurity, doubt, trauma into me
like a 5'6, 130 lb, blonde vessel
Your secrets, I will not store them
Your hatred
Your lies
Your fears
Your trauma
Does not belong in my body
I am not your healer
I am tired
Empty
Withdrawn
Vicarious trauma swirling up like smoke, threatening to over take me
Do your work, put out your fires
I am not your healer
Set boundaries, you pull me closer
A tug of war drenching me in sweat
I feel your grip
“I can’t do this. I’m hanging up.”
I am not your healer.
